Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How many fucks given?
0.12846
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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