their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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