sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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