video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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