Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
