so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
