were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
