I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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