last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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