Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
