Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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