Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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