Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
