I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
