Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm too high and old for this...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
