3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
