you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I love you.
Bad choice
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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