Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it because I queefed?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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