Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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