did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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