OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
