are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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