Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
