She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
