dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
