i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
