they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I need moral support for this bender
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
