Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
