Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
