So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
