nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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