It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
