We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
