My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
