he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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