i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize