Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
