it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize