I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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