He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You need a sexual gate keeper
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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