Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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