Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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