I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
