her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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