I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
