I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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