Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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