Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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