At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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