i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
