My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just pynch a tree in the face
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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