I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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