brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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