this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
