Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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