And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm passing your future prison.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
