standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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