So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize