when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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