How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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