About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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