I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
