Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
