so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
