I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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